Skip to main content

Don't Overthink Hospitality


I sat on the picnic bench at the playground across the street, watching my son and his friends chase each other around. “You seem to have this kid-birthday-party thing down.” said another mother. I shrugged and I think I remembered to say thank you. It was a very simple party, which is why I was able to pull it off. And that's the secret, if such a thing can be called a secret. I know my limits. I cannot pull off a four course dinner party, so I serve family style. (Though I think I once did a 3 course meal. That was before I had children.) I cannot manage a theme birthday party with handmade invitations and goody bags and decorations and a fancy cake. So I host parties on the playground and serve un-fancy cake.

It's not that I'm a simplicity snob. I don't think that my family style dinners are better than other people's four course meals. In fact I think that four course meals are marvelous and I often wish I were the kind of mother who could do the adorable themed birthday parties. I certainly wish I were the kind of person who could produce a platter full of twee cupcakes with marzipan penguins on them.

I was at a different birthday party today, hosted by a mother who also has this birthday party thing down. There was a table of snack things, a counter of drinks and there was cake and singing. My younger son managed to crumble his scone into every corner of the living room. {Sorry, (not)Maud! The offer of a crumb hunting beagle still stands.} Kids played. Parents chatted. I discovered that a good friend of (not)Maud used to be good friends with good friends of mine and that we had used the same birth educator.

That is really the goal of getting people together: to celebrate milestones and to connect with each other. That doesn't require fancy cakes or four courses. It requires that you give people something from the best that you have and that you accept something from the best that others have. If you happen to have a gift for penguin cupcakes, then sharing that is appropriate. If you happen to have a gift for finding the best Indian take-out in the area, then sharing that is appropriate. The Leftoverist makes an excellent argument that even a McDonald's apple pie can be a loving invitation to community. (If you don't already read In Praise of Leftovers you really should.)

Don't over-think your efforts to host others. Hospitality doesn't have to photograph well. It just has to create a space of welcome.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Get up and eat, a Sermon for Proper 14, Year B, RCL

“Get up and eat!”   ( Click here to listen to the sermon. ) At the beginning of our reading from chapter 19 of 1 Kings the great prophet Elijah sits down under a Broom tree and asks to die. Does anybody know why Elijah, a man whose very name means “Yahweh is my God” would be in such despair that he would sit down in the dust and ask for death?  This is a real question. Put a hand up if you think you know. As you might have guessed from the name of the book, Kings tells the story of Israel in the years before the exile when there were Kings. You probably remember that the Israelites asked for a king when the prophet Samuel was an old man. God told Israel, through Samuel, that a king was a terrible idea and they shouldn’t do it but they were stubborn and demanded a king anyway so God and Samuel said “Okay, have a king. See how it goes.” It did not go well. By the time we get from Samuel to Elijah the kings of Israel have gotten well off track. The King in Elijah’s time was ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Precious and Beloved: A Sermon for the First Sunday after Epiphany, Year C RCL

 “Do not fear,” so says our reading from Isaiah.  ( Click here to listen to the sermon ) The book of Isaiah as we have it can be divided into three parts. The first part deals with the Babylonian exile. Our reading from today comes from the middle section, a collection of materials around the themes of hope, divine comfort, and an end to the exile. The period of punishment is over, and God will redeem Israel.  The God who created them, the God who calls them by name, makes a promise to bring them home. It is a forward-looking and hopeful message emphasizing God’s actions, and affirming God’s nearness and compassion.  The book of Isaiah is part of the biblical prophetic tradition focused not just on the historical prophet, but also on how the living tradition remained applicable across generations. So if you find yourself in the wilderness of our modern world, it might be helpful to look to Isaiah.  “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and the r...
Post a Comment
Read more

What to do

  I have been thinking about what to do with the toxic pieces of your family history: The bank letter of credit issued to the cotton merchant. The portrait of a man and wife who were on the wrong side of a war,  not the losing side  the wrong side. The letter crafted to convey the most pain in perfect rolling script. The hurt feelings that have no physical form but are  solid all the same;  weight that you carry. The heroic stories you believed when you were small But now you realize they have no heroes in them You can burn them,  store them in the attic,  put them in a box you give to your cousins at Christmas,  fling them without ceremony in a dumpster on the other side of town and drive away quickly,  keep them wrapped in archival tissue paper and take them out to show at family gatherings.  If anyone objects you can say that things were different then.  Offer no further explanation. You can weaponize them: use them to fuel ...
Post a Comment
Read more