Bread, Wine, Salt

Our Gospel reading today opens with Jesus praying what is known as the high priestly prayer in the hours before he will be arrested. Unlike other accounts which have Jesus praying alone while the disciples doze elsewhere, Jesus is in midst of his disciples here, and praying out loud. In the first half of the prayer, Jesus uses the word glorify a lot. He glorified the Father and now he’s asking the Father to glorify him so that we may know God.  We need to ask what Glorify means here. To me, glorify sounds like “raise up on high and add some back lighting so that the sunshine seems to be radiating out of the glorified person”, like something from a Monty Python sketch, but I am assured by better Biblical scholars than myself that Glorify here means to reveal the presence of God, which involves fewer crowns and sunbeams and more knowing God and being in relationship with God.  It is knowing God that gives us eternal life, and it’s not just something that will happen to ...

“In those days . . .” our Gospel reading begins. “In those days John the Baptist appeared in the wilderness . . .” You don’t have to be a Biblical scholar to know that a story that begins with “In those days  . . .” is a story about things that were and things that are and how they’re different. There is a new thing coming, the Gospel writer tells us. And if we’re to believe the description in today’s reading from Isaiah about wolves living with lambs, and lions eating straw, this new thing is completely different from anything we’ve seen so far. If you’re paying attention to the rhythms of the church year, you’ll know today is the second Sunday of Advent. Advent, of course, is the church season when we wear blue, light candles on a wreath, and open tiny boxes to eat the tiny chocolates inside, all while stubbornly refusing to listen to Christmas carols and being smugly satisfied that we are doing the Liturgical year the right way, not letting any spare merriment sneak into the s...

A Baker's Dozen Tips and Tricks for Substitute Teachers 1. They're probably lying to you. Not the students, the other teachers. Whatever the teacher or anyone else tells you about a group of kids will not be true when you're in the classroom because how kids behave with a sub is unrelated to how they behave with their regular teacher. It's your first day, and you have to set the expectations for your classroom. 2. Introduce yourself. Write your name on the board. 3. Act like you know what you're doing. Children, like dogs, can smell fear. 4. Be loud enough to fill the classroom without yelling. Practice this ahead of time. 5. Never yell. If you yell, they win. More importantly, if you yell, you lose. Don't lose. 6. You are not their friend. They will ask you if you are married, if you have kids, if you like dubstep, if you go to clubs, what your favorite football team is. An enterprising atheist will ask if you're religious so they can debate rel...

Is there a word for the sadness you feel when you realize you are almost at the end of a book that you love and you will never be able to read it again for the first time? I asked that on facebook, and my friends answered "No, but there should be, because that's definitely a thing and you should tell us what you just read because we want to feel it, too." Normally I am a glutton of all kinds. I eat too much. I drink too fast (water, I mean. Also beer and wine and whatnot, but I limit myself strictly on those so I don't end up doing something stupid.) I binge watch TV shows. And I swallow books whole. I read the first three Harry Potter books in a single weekend, and the rest in one or two marathon sessions each. I'm also a re-reader. Books that I raced through the first time often get a slower, reread. I dip in and out of them when I have a bit of time. I know how they end, so I'm not in any particular rush to get there and I can better enjoy the ride, w...

If you're not already a baseball fan, then Caleb Joseph is the reason you should become one. A year ago, Caleb Joseph was stuck in the minor leagues. After four seasons with the AA Bowie Baysox, he was up a level at AAA Norfolk, making almost no money, not as much money as a man with a new wife and hopes for a family would need. He’d planned to give it up, to go find a real job and be a guy who had once played professional baseball but that you’d probably never heard of. Maybe he would tell stories, and maybe he’d be a coach somewhere in his spare time. He didn't want to quit, of course, but four years in AA ball is not how you get to the Major Leagues. I’m sure he thought it was time to grow up and stop dreaming about baseball. It was Caleb Joseph’s wife who convinced him to give it one more shot, one more season of minor league ball, one more season of watching hotshot prospects get called up, of playing with big leaguers when they came to the minor leagues to rehab af...

This is a repost from an old blog. Apologies if you've seen it before. Am I supposed to believe that God walked in the Garden with Adam and Eve? Am I supposed to believe that God asked Cain where Abel had gone? Am I supposed to believe that God gave Noah detailed plans for building the ark? Am I supposed to believe that God told Abraham to take his family and go to another land? Am I supposed to believe that God sent an angel to save Isaac at the last minute? Am I supposed to believe that God wrestled with Jacob, blessed him, and named his Israel? Am I supposed to believe that God had a purpose for Joseph? Am I supposed to believe that God spoke to Moses from a burning bush? Am I supposed to believe that God sent many prophets? Am I supposed to believe that God spoke to Job from the whirlwind? Am I supposed to believe that God sent His only Son to walk among us? Am I supposed to believe that God sent the Holy Spirit down like tongues ...

It’s a good time of year to hear about John testifying to the light. The days are short, and even when the sun is supposed to be out the sky is often grey. It’s no surprise that when early Christians talked about God they talked about light. Darkness used to be dangerous. For us, it’s easy enough to push back the darkness with the flip of a switch. I got a letter from PEPCO last week that compared my home’s electrical use with other similar homes. We are “better than average” but not “the best.”  And according to the helpful line graph, most of my electricity use happens between 5 and 11 PM.  “Think about who is using electricity in your home at that time.” said the letter.  The answer is we all are. That’s dinner time and bath time and if I don’t start laundry now my son won’t have clean pants for school tomorrow time. It’s also a time when I am prone to leave lights on in rooms I’m not using simply because it drives away the gloom.  I put the letter on my refrige...

I have too much stuff. My kids have too much stuff. I sent this out to my family a week ago.  Dear Family, Although they don't realize it yet, Bird and Airplane are two very lucky kids because they have all of you who love them very much, and who provide them with fantastic  presents . The boys have plenty of stuff, even after several sessions of sorting out toys, some of which have been donated and some of which are stored in my closet so they'll be more exciting on a rainy day. This year, as you think about  Christmas   presents , I hope you'll consider giving experiences instead of stuff. Ideally the experiences would be with you, of course, but if that's not possible then gift certificates will allow us to take the boys.  I have a short list of suggestions, but it's hardly inclusive. If you have something in mind but aren't sure if the boys would like it, please ask. 1. A trip or a membership to the  National Aquarium .  2. A trip or me...

As prepared for delivery, November 16, 2014* St. Andrew's Episcopal Church, College Park, MD There are lots of sheep in the readings today. Sheep in the Hebrew Scriptures and sheep in the Gospel, with some goats thrown in for good measure. As I was working on the sermon this week I joked that the Bible is fifty-percent sheep.  You could say that all of Christian tradition is fifty-percent sheep. Sheep in the histories, sheep in the prophesies,  sheep in the psalms, sheep in the parables, sheep in the liturgy, sheep in the stained glass, sheep in the hymnody. We have metaphorical sheep stacked to the rafters,  but because we are mostly urban and suburban residents most of us don’t know a lot about actual sheep. I am not an expert on sheep, but I was an Animal Science major in college, where I learned a little bit about sheep. I learned how to flip a sheep, which sounds like tossing a sheep on its head, but really means gently sitting the sheep down on its backside, a...

As prepared for delivery, Sunday, May 25, 2014 St. Andrew's Episcopal Church, College Park, MD John 14:15-21   Jesus said to his disciples, "If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, to be with you forever. This is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, because he abides with you, and he will be in you.  "I will not leave you orphaned; I am coming to you. In a little while the world will no longer see me, but you will see me; because I live, you also will live. On that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you. They who have my commandments and keep them are those who love me; and those who love me will be loved by my Father, and I will love them and reveal myself to them." My the words of my mouth and the meditations of all our hearts be acceptable to you oh God, in whom we live, and move an...

Feast of Christ the King, Year C Last Sunday after Pentecost as prepared for delivery The prophet Jeremiah wasn't predicting the future in today's reading when he said “Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture,” he was just stating the facts of the case. The kings of Judah were, on the whole, a bad group. They were more concerned with currying political favor with whichever nearby kingdom was in power at the time than they were with following God's law or caring for their people. Jeremiah wasn't warning the Kings that great sorrow and distress was coming. They were already there. The scattered flock that Jeremiah talks about was the scattered people of Judah, exiled after King Zedekiah paid tribute to Egypt instead of Babylon. It was too late to bring the Kings around to better behavior, but the prophet was also called to bring comfort to the people in times of distress, and through Jeremiah, God promises the people better shepherds an...

We need more parties, more opportunities to get together with old friends, to meet new friends, to deepen fledgling friendships. We need more time together. Or, more selfishly, I want to go to more parties. And I want to host more parties, and I sometimes forget that it’s not really hard. So this is advice for me, and maybe it will be useful to someone else, too.  Just dive in and do it. First things first, decide if you’re feeding a meal or just snacks, choose the time accordingly. Even a wedding reception can be just punch and cake if it’s at two in the afternoon. Choose an end time. If the party is focused around an event, like a big game or watching the fireworks, then the end time is built in. If you’re just having people over to hang out, then put an ending time on the invitation. Unless you think it would be awesome if everyone hung around all night talking, in which case leave it open. Mostly I want people to go home when the party is over because I want to d...

Proper 6, Year C Luke 7:36-8:3 What are you ashamed of? What is your biggest sin, your greatest weakness, your deepest failure? What is there about you would horrify the person sitting closest to you? What would get you kicked out if only people knew? Now imagine that people did know, and you can imagine yourself as the unnamed woman in today’s Gospel story. Today’s Gospel reading takes place in the heart of Jesus’ ministry. It is surrounded in the text by miracles and parables. Jesus had just talked to the messengers from John the Baptist. His ministry was getting attention, but he had not yet angered people enough that they wanted him dead. He was a pop star at the top of the charts. Simon the Pharisee invited Jesus to a banquet at his home, both to find out more about Jesus’ teaching, and for the cachet of hosting a popular traveling Rabbi. At a formal banquet, the guests would have been lying on their left sides, propped up on their left arms, supported by cushions, leav...

The Gladiator Arena I am a slacker-parent. In the years since I first claimed my slacker title, Lenore Skenazy created the term “ Free-Range Parent ” which not only sounds better than “slacker,” it comes with a whole philosophy attached, which you can debate with the other parents at your parenting group, proving that even if you’re not climbing the slide with your kid, you spent real time researching the reasons why you shouldn’t climb the slide with your kid. Sometimes I do call myself a free-range parent, but the truth of the matter is I’m a slacker. I would rather sit on the park bench and read a book, or commit that cardinal sin of parenting, play with my smart-phone, than climb the slide or push my kid on the swing. Back when my kids were in the “stick everything in their mouth” phase, I did put down my book long enough to take the mulch out of their hands and redirect them, but that’s about it. If my kid climbs too high on the playground climbing structure, or c...

Judas made a very common mistake. He assumed that our love for God and for our neighbor was a zero sum game, that we had to choose between God and our neighbors because we couldn’t love both, not really, not enough. Now, as we know from this reading and others, Judas wasn’t doing a good job of loving God or his neighbors. The name Judas has become one of our cultural references. I could stand up here and call someone a Judas, and you’d all know what I mean: a traitor. Jesus used that kind of reference all the time. His words as we have them were written down by men who knew about farming and fishing, and about the Torah. The disciples were Jews, which means they would have studied the Hebrew scriptures, would have the words of the scriptures written on their hearts and their minds in ways that we modern Episcopalians mostly don’t. So when Jesus says “The poor you always have with you,” we hear a sentence standing on its own. “The poor you will always have with you.” And it’s not a ...